A NAUGHTY BOY

I watched the Kieth Olbermann "Countdown" reenactment of the Senator Craig bathroom incident. When I saw the details of the police report, and when I heard his "wide stance" explanation, I thought it would be obvious to everyone that he was lying. I mean, we've all used stalls in public restrooms. And we know that our feet and the feet of others don't just go wandering around underneath the partitions. Wide stance or not, you just don't stick your feet into somebody else's stall. Craig was lying.

This bothered the Republican Party, of course. For, after all, they are the world's most dedicated and professional liars, and Craig had not consulted with them first. His inferior lying had put the GOP in a bad light. Perhaps, with help from above, Craig could have kept things hidden a while longer, as Mark Foley was helped to win several more elections to Congress after the first allegations against him surfaced in 1996. He had important work to do, after all, serving as chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children.

So now Craig has gone. He's not "gay". He just likes to be "naughty" once in a while. What's the difference? Well, if he were gay, he would approve of such behavior, and defend it as a private, personal choice. Since he's not gay, he opposes such behavior and encourages others to condemn it and even use political powers to harass "gay" people. It's a big difference, the difference between saying "naughty" and "nice".

Craig is definitely a wierd, twisted little creature, like many Republicans.

Still, my wife has raised the question of what was the crime that Craig actually committed? And why was a police officer working to apprehend such offenders?

I admit, I made the assumption that the Minneapolis police were just doing their duty. I figured there must have been some complaints made. Perhaps the place had become notorious among travelers and was giving visitors to the city a distorted impression of Minneapolis. Perhaps straight men were getting creeped out by the frequent sight of eyeballs staring at them through the crack by the door. Perhaps there were never any stalls left any more. I don't know. I just assumed that the police had what they considered to be a good reason to take action.

I wouldn't make that assumption about Los Angeles, by the way.

Now I'm feeling a little concerned. It's clear there are some laws on the books that don't belong there.

But it was nice to see a Republican tell a lie and actually get caught. It was a dumb lie, and obviously didn't come from the pros in the propaganda department. The last time we saw this happen was on Super Bowl Sunday in 2002. Sure, he "choked on a pretzel", lost consciousness, fell down, and came to by himself - during the Super Bowl. Or could it be that he sipped half way through a bottle of Southern Comfort, was seriously out of practice in heavy drinking, tripped on his own feet in the bathroom, and came up with a ridiculous story before any of his staff could whip up a better one?

You be the judge.